In my last post, we talked of how private a person I usually am, but how I mentioned very private things in a couple of my books and again on losing my two sisters. It confused me why I would do such a thing when I have never in my life before exposed myself in such a way.
It has come to me that the reason this had to be done, is so people following my work, teachings and guidance given to share with others, see the human side of me. It is no good showing just one side of oneself. To be able to accept what I’m asked to share and teach, readers and followers have to see I have an understanding of their struggles, pain, lack of faith, trust, hope and even their anger at God, because I too have been in their shoes.
It is easy to share platitudes asking people to accept everything is for a reason, but how easy it is to says such things, how hard though to put it into practice when suffering badly. No matter how much you want to, no matter how much you love God and want to serve Him, we are human beings first and foremost. His beloved Son, Jesus was made man in the flesh and He too suffered, just as we do.
God is asking nothing of us He didn’t ask His Son to go through or suffer. Didn’t Jesus too ask, “My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?” He, like us, knew His Father hadn’t left Him, that He was with Him and always would be, but at the time of His sufferings, he was unable to feel Him and felt just as alone as we sometimes do.
This is what happens to us, it’s what happened to me. Despite knowing we have to suffer, why things have to happen that we may not know reasons for at the time, we know God has a plan for us all. When we suffer badly, are in deep pain and suffering, it is difficult to let anyone get near us or hear what they’re saying. The words go in one ear and out the other most often.
In my work, I am asked to share many things which shows the spiritual side of me, but where is the human side everyone can relate to? It is no good sounding as though we have all the answers, expecting people to somehow be superhuman accepting all thrown at them in life and accept it is God’s will, if we appear above those things and untouched by them ourselves.
I am very human, have suffered much in my life in many ways. Pain, loss, abuse and suffering are no strangers to me. I too have struggled badly, just as many of you reading this will have done. I am still going through quite a bit of it and it’s lasted for fifty years. You too may still be going through your own trials, but we are human. How can we expect to live in Paradise before we leave this world?
How we accept and deal with those things is what will determine how we grow, strengthen and survive. It is ok to question, be angry, upset with God and ask Him why this is all happening to us. As already mentioned, His Son did just that very thing Himself.
Underneath our supposed lack of faith, despite our anger at God, our loss of hope, trust and understanding of why we have to go through such life lessons, trials and hardships, we will somewhere have those things still buried deep within us. No matter how much we’re hurting, if we had deep love and faith in God, it will still be there if we allow it to be.
I am two people; you are two people. We are our spiritual self that is learning and hopefully growing, but we are on this earth to be our human self first and foremost. It’s our trials and sufferings as humans that will help determine how strong our faith is and that helps nourish our souls.
Some people will find it all too much for them and will sadly turn their backs on God. It is hoped as they go through life they will come to a greater understanding of why bad and sad things have to happen to us all and will come back to Him one day. Others who are stronger, feel able to fight now and remain in communion with God even if doubting and asking questions.
Whichever of those people you are or whichever way those you know and love decide to do in order to move forwards will be right for you all at that time. We each have to handle things our own way, for as ever long or short a time it takes. None of us is the same as another. Our pain, our suffering, our loss, struggles and how we handle it all is individual to us.
There is no right way or wrong way apart from being gentle and kind to yourself. Hopefully, it’ll help you understand the pain others go through and be able to help them in the future. Whatever way we handle it, is for us to do as we feel on each given day. One day at a time is all we can do, one day at a time.
It is for this reason I believe I’ve had to share with you some of my private life so you can see both sides of me. To see I am no different to any of you. That none of you is any different to anyone else going through life experiences that may hurt or sadden.
You’ve seen mainly my spiritual self over the years and now you’ve seen my human self also. We are all two people and it’s important we recognise we are and nourish both. My love to you all and remember, one day at a time.